Sooo, update time!
The working board wouldn't POST with the 50MHz oscillator either. I couldn't be bothered to test the non-working one with 33MHz because swapping CPU, cache, RAM and ISA cards over is a pain and I was too impatient because I wanted to finally build a working system.
So this is what I did over the weekend... took the unimpressive Batman/Pentium 60 board out of the AT case, put it up on ebay, and built a working 486.
Bad pictures ahead:

Still need to do some cable management, wanted to make sure everything works first:

Specs:
- FIC 486-VC-HD
- i486 DX-33 (maybe swap a DX2/66 in, maybe not)
- 256KB L2
- 32MB RAM (insane, I know - I'm contemplating taking half of it out because it's not necessary at all)
- Generic Multi-I/O controller
- Trident 8900 something with 1MB (maybe swap it out at some point for something better, doesn't have to be ET4000, Cirrus Logic would be nice)
- Realtek RTL8019AS nic - that's the last problem left, haven't got it working yet
- Soundblaster 16 CT2940 with OPL3 - so far I'm really impressed with that one! Very low noise even with PC speaker connected, great sounding OPL3. Not at all like my AWE32 CT3980 that's noisy as hell and has muffled sounding OPL3.
- 3.5" and 5.25" floppies, both working perfectly
- 1.2 GB Quantum hard drive - had to use Ontrack Drive Overlay
- 2 GB CF card
- Teac 32-speed CD-ROM - yeah, I know - but these are A LOT more reliable than early CD-ROM drives and read CD-Rs without problems too
- MS-DOS 6.22 / WfW 3.11
Modded the useless Eco button on the case - swapped the momentary push-button out for a switch, so now it's a working turbo button!
I'm also considering making the speaker switchable, i.e. adding a switch which routes the PC speaker signal either to the internal speaker, the SB16, or off. Easy to do and practical (real retro feeling with internal speaker, option for using headphones for late-night gaming).