First get something like a Packard Bell mobo that lacks cache and has no available upgrade slot for any.

Seems like it could be a fun project. A POS Pentium-class system would probably be the easiest to do.

PCChips M571, Cyrix 6x86, and... maybe a Quantum Bigfoot hard drive? It's got terrible video and sound already onboard, so you'd be pretty well set.

I would say get a PCChips VXPro instead, but it's very unlikely that you'll find one of those still in working condition. (It was very unlikely to find one in working condition when new, so 10 years later is asking a bit much.)

I don't even see how PCchips is still in business...I have a celeron 433 rig [w/PCchips mobo] that's been sitting in the garage for years, everything about it is slow. Good thing it was given to me. Still just sitting there though, I need to toss it from a tall building.

Well, this might do aswell:
Get a CBM PC-I, this is a 8088 at 4.77 MHz, 512 kB RAM, a 5.24" DD Drive with 160 kB and CGA. Not really expandable.

Then tell them, that this computer was released after IBM released their PS/2 8580 introducing a 386 System with VGA and MCA.
Tell them that the Computer costed 900,00 DM and you had to pay for an additional disk drive (Amiga external drive) 500,00 DM.

It looks like I've already done some of this! Please see the following thread, especially the posts at the end.

LAPC-I and VX-Pro+ Chipset...

Regarding the curious M571 board, there is a (curiously) favourable review of it here -

http://www.redhill.net.au/b/b-99.html#pc-571

Old Thrashbarg, why does it have terrible video? Do you mean that the PCI performance is bad, and that the speed of a PCI graphics card is hindered by a poorly performing bus system?

Red Hill got lucky with their samples, I think, and even still I'd say they weren't being very picky with it. Notice they also said at the bottom of that segment, that some later revisions proved just as troublesome as any other PCChips board. My experience is that they are, at best, significantly slower at any given speed than any respectable Socket7 board. To the point that a P133 on a decent board could easily run circles around a P233 on the PCChips board. I'm pretty certain I've also seen variants that had fake cache, contrary to what Red Hill says.

The video is terrible in every way. PCI performance is pretty bad (it affects hard drive performance too), but the main issue is just that it's the cheapest possible implementation of a low-end SiS integrated chipset. I'd put it on par with the average Trident card, perhaps even slower. Expect poor signal quality in addition to sluggish performance. Also forget any sort of 3D, even though it's supposed to be a 3D capable chip.

I must be dense, but I'm still struggling to understand what you are trying to explain regarding the terrible video. Looking at the M571 spec, I don't see any video port where you plug in a video cable -

http://stason.org/TULARC/pc/motherboards/P/PC … ntium-M571.html

Is this to do with the mobo's onboard chipset? The Redhill article mentions this -

Chipset: SiS 5597, AMI BIOS

I then googled SiS 5597, and the word "video" appears to be associated with it. Actually, I've noticed that if I use the same PCI graphics card on one mobo, then on another one, I can sometimes detect a very subtle difference in overall general image quality. Is that to do with the mobo's chipset?

bushwack wrote:

I don't even see how PCchips is still in business..

That's because you haven't been to Brazil.

Start from a "business" mobo with integrated video card.

You don't need to build a bad system... Companies like Compaq and Packard Bell do that for you 😁

Is it supposed to work? I remember that some video cards failed with some system boards (S3/SIS and Intel VX?)...

Also, consider using a cheap ISA video card (Trident 8900 or some crap like that) for greater effect or a crappy unstable sound board (Aztech, maybe?) to give full multimedia crappity.

As a whole system, I would recommend an Amstrad PC1640 (power source inside the monitor, slooooooow hard disk... if it has one installed) or an Olivetti PC-1 or a Sinclair PC200 (back cover MUST be open when using any ISA card)... Packard Bell made some great POS, but I'm afraid that a 486/Pentium working Packard Bell is a very rare finding.

Yes, yes, just get a Jean Lueque Packard-Bell with that god aweful Modem-Sound Combo Card installed on the riser along with the proprietary interface, 2x speed optical drive.

Be sure that it has only the 1.2MB, 5.25" Floppy drive installed and then over-spend on the 4 x 4MB, 30 pin SIMM's too 😜

Damn, I had a working Packard Bell 486 SX-50 PC about 10 months ago. It had 1 stick of 16mb 72 pin RAM, a 3.5" FDD, a HDD (1GB?), a CD-ROM (2 speed) which was connected to an Aztech soundcard. I think it was called an "Executive Multimedia" PC, and it had built in video - possibly Cirrus Logic, probably 1mb. It worked! I seem to remember taking the CPU, RAM, soundcard, CD-ROM drive, and taking the "remains" to the recycling centre. Pity. Wish I still had it now!

Regarding the Amstrad, I think my first PC was the poorer version of the PC1640. I remember the power source was inside the monitor. I also remember the HDD had a defect on it!

I've been thinking a bit more about this mad project. Maybe I could slap together a typical slot 1 mobo, using very cheap components. Then just parcel tape it all together, in to one unholy "lump". It would still work and be good for most retro games and stuff, but just look like one ugly mutha.

Looking at the M571 spec, I don't see any video port where you plug in a video cable -

Look closer... CN7 between the RAM and ATX connector. You plug in a... ah, whaddya call 'em... one of those ribbon cable things with a VGA port on it.

Ah thanks! 😀 Yes I see it now!

VGA interface CN7

I'm sure sometime in the past, I've had some of these cables lying around - never quite sure what their purpose was - so they went in the "box for the recycling centre".

Old Thrashbarg wrote:

PCChips M571, Cyrix 6x86, and... maybe a Quantum Bigfoot hard drive? It's got terrible video and sound already onboard, so you'd be pretty well set.

Im recomending definitely Cyrix PR166 - remember time when i had this one and overclocked it to about 200Mhz with increased voltage. After about 6months cooler died and when i at last found reason why PC sometimes freeze i found that plastic screws heads on cooler melted by heat 😁

As hdd will be best WD 20/40GB BB series (7200rpm) because of its legendary noise.

from graphic cards i must recomend any Trident or Realtek ISA, if you must have pci then sis6215 will do the job, but seems to me like its still way faster than any ISA one, so better use ISA.

http://82.114.193.227/vga/view.php?cisloclanku=2007030003

Hehe! Lots of good suggestions from everyone! I particularly like the idea of something being remembered for "its legendary noise". I had another idea for a case. Instead of an unholy lump constructed from about 2 rolls of parcel tape, I could house these "evil innards" within a strong cardboard box. Then, mount about 10 hideously fast and noisy case fans inside it, for no other reason than to generate an obscene amount of noise.

(Photo found on the net using google: pc cardboard box)

Eh, those WD BB drives aren't that bad. I've got a couple of the 40GB ones in machines around here. They're definitely quieter than the average SCSI drive, and I'd say even the 20GB 5400RPM Maxtor in my iMac is louder.

Reason I recommended the Quantum Bigfoot is for its legendary speed. Or rather, the complete lack of it. 😁

Old Thrashbarg wrote:

Eh, those WD BB drives aren't that bad. I've got a couple of the 40GB ones in machines around here. They're definitely quieter than the average SCSI drive, and I'd say even the 20GB 5400RPM Maxtor in my iMac is louder.

Reason I recommended the Quantum Bigfoot is for its legendary speed. Or rather, the complete lack of it. 😁

I would say an old Seagate drive will do the trick for upping those decibels 😁