snorg wrote:

...does that mean you need to lay off the retro stuff for a while?

That or the Theraflu.

Well I've been sick lately. Rib pain, so it might be the painkillers but I just woke up from a dream where apparently my brakes gave out so I coasted to a shopping multi level parking lot and started practicing my Japanese drifting, you know where the driver hangs out the drivers side, with one hand on the doorframe and one hand on the steering wheel. Don't know how I managed to drift with no brakes buuuut yeah, shoulda seen me. 😎

NJRoadfan wrote:

snorg wrote:

...does that mean you need to lay off the retro stuff for a while?

That or the Theraflu.

Yeah, never touching that stuff again. I've never done drugs and given I had such a bad reaction to an overdose of over-the-counter cold medication, I don't have any desire to fool around with that crap or anything like it. Next time I'll just go to the damn doctor when I'm that sick.

That dream usually means anxiety from fatherhood.

Do dreams in colour mean anything?

Almost every dream I had all these years was in colour (as far back as I can remember, anyway). I can remember this since it's one of the most striking features of my dreams, since I can point out the colours of the objects in my dreams.

As much as I love classic PCs, DOS, SB, MT-32, etc., I never had dreams of these all these years.

If there's one thing I've discovered from my time interpreting other people's dreams it's that I myself do NOT dream the same way most people do. My dreams are not only in full colour, they not only have incredibly elaborate settings, numerous entities all existing and doing stuff at once, smells, tastes, all senses fully active, but I'm also aware I'm dreaming every step of the way and have a keen awareness of the "construct" as I call it: the mental process that creates and processes the dream. :o

For those of you who have had a lucid dream before, tell me: If ALL of your dreams involved some level of control, what do you think would happen in the long run? I'll give you a hint: What does REAL life feel like?

Thus when someone asks a question like you just did Malik, I don't have a good answer because to me, I can't comprehend the notion of not dreaming in colour as the default. I've only ever had one black and white dream, and that was a STYLISTIC point because of the content of said dream being related to black and white movies... OK... I've technically had two black and white dreams but one of them was odd in that it started as colour, became black and white when I tried to escape it because I wasn't thrilled with how it was turning out, then it became colour again once the event that made me want to escape was over with and thus I didn't want to escape anymore.

For more than a year or so I haven't been able to remember my dreams at all most of the times, but despite this, I've noticed I'm usually daydreaming while I'm awake and IIRC it has also happened to me before that sometimes during those daydreams I have, I'd suddenly have that feeling as if I somehow had lost my mind for a moment and went out of this world just for a moment, then returned back to reality in a quite sudden way.

What do you think could be the reason for this? Is it possible to recover the 'awareness'? I truly apologize if my post sounds stupid to anyone but it is something that intrigues me in a way...

I once had this dream where I was standing in the trainyard local to my family's house (which I am currently still residing at for the time being), and I saw my human self laying with his neck on the rail as a train was approaching. He, or "I" rather, had his face covered up with the UCSD hoodie my lover bought for me years ago when he was still in college at the time. I simply stood there watching as the train got closer and closer, finally running over "me" and decapitating me completely, the severed head also getting smashed by the train's wheels as it sped by. The train didn't even stop and all I could do after it passed was walk over and look at the bloody mess and watch the train just fade away in the distance.

The best part? When I woke up I felt like actually walking over to said train yard in the middle of the night and getting myself decapitated... Thankfully I was talked out of such a thing... I'm so fortunate to have a significant other because right now he's really the only reason I never try to commit suicide these days.

As for clarification, when I say "my human" or "me" in quotes. It's because in all my dreams, I'm not the human I am in reality. I'm the dragon that I deeply believe myself to be.

Depression is really terrible, especially when everybody downplays you and thinks you're just trying to cry out for attention all the time.

subhuman@xgtx wrote:

For more than a year or so I haven't been able to remember my dreams at all most of the times, but despite this, I've noticed I'm usually daydreaming while I'm awake and IIRC it has also happened to me before that sometimes during those daydreams I have, I'd suddenly have that feeling as if I somehow had lost my mind for a moment and went out of this world just for a moment, then returned back to reality in a quite sudden way.

What do you think could be the reason for this? Is it possible to recover the 'awareness'? I truly apologize if my post sounds stupid to anyone but it is something that intrigues me in a way...

You should read up on "Astral Projection". ;)

The funny thing about the mind is that it does indeed "project" itself. Tell me, when you touch something with your hands or when your feet ache from standing for too long, where is the pain actually located? All perception of pain, discomfort, any feeling at all really, is created by the brain based on the impulses received from the nerves in your body and it's the brain itself which is projecting the location of those feelings, making it feel like those feelings are localized to parts of the body.

If you concentrate really hard, you can actually re-localize the positions of your sensations back to your brain, yet you still know what those sensations are because the brain knows where they're SUPPOSED to be.

DracoNihil wrote:

Depression is really terrible, especially when everybody downplays you and thinks you're just trying to cry out for attention all the time.

Or sometimes just the opposite happens when you keep your depression locked up so tightly that no one realizes how fragile your mental state is and thus treats you as such. :/

Dreams reflect our present state of mind, so any dream triggered by depression is often the mind just trying to sort itself out and clear all those nasty feelings away... the best thing you can do when it comes to those kinds of dreams is just don't think about them; focus on other things so that the brain doesn't have the chance to form memories related to the depressing dream, that way you can help your mind clear those feelings away, as the dream was intending to do.

It really sucks being depressed as there's often no quick way to pull yourself out of it, but ignoring your depressive dreams as best as possible will help at least a little. :)

I wish it were that easy but usually when I wake up, I'm left staring up into the air not wanting to bother getting up because every day of this life has gotten progressively more pointless as time went.

On some days I can't even tell if this is the real world or another dream. I get an awful lot of deja vu which greatly makes me question reality itself sometimes...

just delete

DracoNihil wrote:

I wish it were that easy but usually when I wake up, I'm left staring up into the air not wanting to bother getting up because every day of this life has gotten progressively more pointless as time went.

On some days I can't even tell if this is the real world or another dream. I get an awful lot of deja vu which greatly makes me question reality itself sometimes...

I'm no expert, but, just sharing my thoughts.

1. I guess, if you can concentrate hard to get to the root or the source of the depression(whatever started it all and when), there may just be a remedy for it.
2. Don't you have any positive memories to forcefully latch onto in such situations?
3. It may sound easy, but, you can try to empty your mind totally(if not, just concentrate on a single positive thing that you like).
4. Just let go of everything and try to realize that you(your consciousness) are made of the same thing/entity of the Universe that is unique, which tries to understand 'itself' by means of different manifestations and so nothing matters really.

gandhig wrote:

I'm no expert, but, just sharing my thoughts. […]
Show full quote

I'm no expert, but, just sharing my thoughts.

1. I guess, if you can concentrate hard to get to the root or the source of the depression(whatever started it all and when), there may just be a remedy for it.
2. Don't you have any positive memories to forcefully latch onto in such situations?
3. It may sound easy, but, you can try to empty your mind totally(if not, just concentrate on a single positive thing that you like).
4. Just let go of everything and try to realize that you(your consciousness) are made of the same thing/entity of the Universe that is unique, which tries to understand 'itself' by means of different manifestations and so nothing matters really.

1. I pretty much every day have to put myself through some constant stimulus of some sort, be it music or imagery (videos, games, whatever), or trying to actively do something productive. It doesn't always work though and only really keeps me from wanting to scream really loud.

2. I don't recall a single thing positive that's ever happened in my life apart from when I became lovers with my significant other... Thinking about him though just leads me to remembering bad things that have happened between us that I wished never happened. Occasionally I recall good moments but they ultimately end up being overruled by the negative ones.

3. I've tried something like this before, but it keeps coming back to me... I don't even have to consciously be thinking such either, I don't will to remember horrible memories and nightmares, they just appear again without warning. I've been told before this is a issue with the subconscious mind, and if that's truly the case then I might as well be institutionalized.

4. I'm not sure what to think of this one....

DracoNihil wrote:

I wish it were that easy but usually when I wake up, I'm left staring up into the air not wanting to bother getting up because every day of this life has gotten progressively more pointless as time went.

I'm not a psychologist and most of us here probably aren't either. (If you are, speak up!) But the best thing to do if you feel you're at the brink of disaster is to schedule some time with one. Yes, this is expensive, but there's a reason why people get paid for this sort of thing and that's because they're GOOD at it. Just make sure you get some references first because even though most of the psychologists out there are decent, there's going to be a few who aren't or may have their own agendas in terms of how to "help" people.

That said, having suffered depression myself, the best advice I can give you is to latch onto any positive feeling you ever get, no matter how insignificant it is, and enjoy that feeling for as long as you can, and if you feel negative feelings creeping in think or say to yourself: "I'm allowed to be happy." I know it sounds cheesy and stupid and the first couple dozen times you do this it'll feel pointless like it's doing absolutely nothing to help... but there's never quick answers to depression. Anything that has the potential to help is a long-term thing which requires you to actively partake in it, even when it doesn't feel like it's helping.

I lack the knowledge or skill to solve your depression, but I can at least tell you about things like this which helped me. :)

(Side Note: This may make it sound like I've seen a psychologist/psychiatrist myself, but I actually haven't, though some of the people I know personally have and I've talked to them about their experiences.)

DracoNihil wrote:

On some days I can't even tell if this is the real world or another dream. I get an awful lot of deja vu which greatly makes me question reality itself sometimes...

TBH: Because of how well I dream I sometimes get memories from dreams mixed up with memories from real life and vice versa. The tricky thing is, both real and dream memories for me carry the same amount of visual/audible strength in my mind, so the only way I can tell the difference is by remembering more of the memory and identifying things in that memory that are real or not. Also, considering the sheer number of my dreams which convey things which have happened that I didn't know about, or are going to happen in the future, (several dozen by this point), it can get even more confusing figuring out if a memory is about the actual event, or the dream I had prior to the event about said event. x_x;

...also, no, I haven't watched Inception. :P

DracoNihil wrote:

2. I don't recall a single thing positive that's ever happened in my life apart from when I became lovers with my significant other... Thinking about him though just leads me to remembering bad things that have happened between us that I wished never happened. Occasionally I recall good moments but they ultimately end up being overruled by the negative ones.

Finding a good human being to be your friend/companion (I do understand it's really difficult, but there are such people if you are willing to observe) maybe the best thing for you. Once you find such a true human being(Absolutely TRUE, otherwise, it will be a painful regression or maybe even worse. So one has to be careful before opening up and trust him/her unconditionally) and start to be of help to such person(and viceversa), you should automatically feel positive(as the greatest happiness comes in helping others). Once the positive things build up inside you, your present overruling will hopefully be reversed. If you are not able to find such a person(don't lose hope however, as you are pretty young and have a long way to go), set yourself a tough task and try to accomplish it to the point of being obsessed as a repetitive temporary relief.

DracoNihil wrote:

3. I've tried something like this before, but it keeps coming back to me... I don't even have to consciously be thinking such either, I don't will to remember horrible memories and nightmares, they just appear again without warning. I've been told before this is a issue with the subconscious mind, and if that's truly the case then I might as well be institutionalized.

The power of the mind to 'think' might be great, but the supreme thing lies in destroying the mind, i.e by becoming thoughtless and try to realize the 'nothingness' that pervades the majority of the universe. Only true conviction and practice will likely achieve that. But once that is realized, one attains 'peace'(technically incorrect word, more like 'the ultimate thing') with oneself and don't want to return to the mundane 'life' probably.

DracoNihil wrote:

4. I'm not sure what to think of this one....

What I meant was, the whole world as we perceive and give 'importance' to is probably an illusion and it doesn't matter one way or the other. So try not to think, just let go. Once you are hopefully freed from these painful things, then you can start willfully thinking about something positive.

Gemini000 wrote:

...also, no, I haven't watched Inception. 😜

I highly recommend it for such a person as 'you' 😊 .

Inception is overrated! It might have presented a workable premise for a movie that strives to be 'intellectual', but really, dreams aren't that mentally or logically structured. They're definitely kinda fun to be in though!

As for the subject of depression, well, ah.. let me take a breath for a moment. I should've known -- there's something in retro gaming that attracts these sophisticated souls! So please allow me to share some of my thoughts, especially with you, DracoNihil, and with anyone who's going through this... out-of-topic subject, um, interesting time. 😀

Well, firstly, I have to say that no matter how good a psychologist is, ultimately she/he can't really help you or anyone else. They can offer their advices, share their experience and, hopefully, their wisdom. But the only one who can begin the process of discovering your life, who you truly are, is you. No one else can do this for you. And I don't even want to use the word "helping" or "healing", as if there's something wrong to make right, or something broken to mend -- there is none 😀 -- every bit of experience in this life is as valid as as the next one. I mean, do we really have to be "happy", all the time? Do we have to pursuit this thing called "happiness"? I'd say that happiness itself is nothing compared to the awareness we regain once we begin to see the glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.

When I were in the blues myself, and I have spent maybe more than a decade (not full time, of course, I have to distract myself every now and then, just like you guys 😉 ) and I definitely had a lot of, uh, intense times, of which I always spent alone by myself, not allowing others to see me. Questioning my own will, trying to find a reason to live, having fleeting thoughts of ending this life, but then what? Deep inside I already knew that it doesn't work that way. What's not yet complete within me, with my life, I will still have to face somehow. So why not face it now?

These things take time, yes, and let me assure you, that you have forever. "You only live once", some might say. Well, what if billions of years couldn't even begin to describe that one life! Assuming you're still breathing as you're reading this, 😀 why don't you observe your own breath when you're alone sometimes? This breath of life did not even begin at "birth", and it will certainly not end at "death". So, what I'm trying to say is, take your time.

And if you have some dreams (not in your sleep, but in your heart) that you haven't allowed to come to the surface, it'd be an awesome time to revisit them. There are at least two ways to bring "the good memories" back to life. One is to recall them from the past, and the other is to recall them from the future. 😀

subhuman@xgtx wrote:

For more than a year or so I haven't been able to remember my dreams at all most of the times, but despite this, I've noticed I'm usually daydreaming while I'm awake and IIRC it has also happened to me before that sometimes during those daydreams I have, I'd suddenly have that feeling as if I somehow had lost my mind for a moment and went out of this world just for a moment, then returned back to reality in a quite sudden way.

What do you think could be the reason for this? Is it possible to recover the 'awareness'? I truly apologize if my post sounds stupid to anyone but it is something that intrigues me in a way...

It could have been a "dissociative" event depending on the experience. An occasional event is normal and nothing to worry about.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_disorder

Worse cases usually involve depersonalization/derealization where one might think the world around them simply isn't "real".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization

For those on here that have clear signs of depression or any of the above, seek professional help. Just keep in mind that you may have to see multiple professionals until you find "the right one". The good ones usually don't just throw pills at you.

archsan wrote:

Inception is overrated! It might have presented a workable premise for a movie that strives to be 'intellectual', but really, dreams aren't that mentally or logically structured. They're definitely kinda fun to be in though!

I tend to like movies that present a new(or a variant of existing ones) 'premise', however illogical it might be(comedies are an exception) as they are just movies. IMO it is not the movie that is totally responsible for 'your' experience. It's just a trigger for your mind to chew on the 'premise', deduce whatever you may(or not) and come to a conclusion(hopefully), which may(or not) bring a sense of fulfillment and that is what makes it memorable or forgettable. I think, the same applies to books, novels etc. I would even go to say that the our 'experience' through the five senses(sixth, seventh or whatever) such as 'taste', for example, is not because of the thing you have tasted(it's just a trigger and only defines the target level), but because your system rises upto that level(with its checks and balances) striving to come to a balance and that 'delta' is what we 'experience' actually. Anyway it's a different topic, so I will stop(some other day perhaps if someone is interested). I tend to hate (so as to say) mundane movies.

I had one of those floating/flying/falling dreams once but I'm not sure it was really a dream. At the end of the dream, I felt myself falling but in dreams you don't literally bounce off of the bed and end up on the floor at the end of the fall. I am convinced that something was in the room that night lifting me in the air and dropped me suddenly when I started to wake up. Either that or my subconscious mind was levitating me and it was no longer able to when I woke up so I fell.