brostenen wrote:

Paranoia is a shitty thing. I have seen them close up a couple of times.

its a normal part of anxiety disorders. i have been called a nutjob many times at work.
imo most of my paranoic thoughts are proven true by time.

brostenen wrote:

He was really sick, and thought that all doctors were nazi's in disguise.

That's not paranoia - the mental condition of finding Nazis under every stone is properly diagnosed as "listening to the media". 😉

VileRancour wrote:

brostenen wrote:

He was really sick, and thought that all doctors were nazi's in disguise.

That's not paranoia - the mental condition of finding Nazis under every stone is properly diagnosed as "listening to the media". 😉

Not in this case. Paranoia was just his psychosis, wich were a part of his paranoid schitzofreni.
It all went away, when he got medicated. (well... most of it)

brostenen wrote:

Not in this case. Paranoia was just his psychosis, wich were a part of his paranoid schitzofreni.
It all went away, when he got medicated. (well... most of it)

thought so..
i wonder if thats my fate too. paranoia is a scheme that is hard to break through

Tetrium wrote:

brostenen, you look absolutely amazing! 😁

Btw, I can relate to a lot that's been mentioned so far.

I have a bit of a paranoid ...thingy though 😊

"Paranoia is a very comforting state of mind. If you think they're out to get you, it means you think you matter"

mrau wrote:

thought so..
i wonder if thats my fate too. paranoia is a scheme that is hard to break through

Naaa.... Don't worry.
Just remember, that there are medicine in this world if it ever get's that far.
And remember, that if someone stop to take these medications, they risk messing the brain up so much that the personality will change. I have so many stories about people starting on medication, and when it all goes well again, they stop taking it because they think that everything is ok again.

And they tumble straight down in hell again.

brostenen wrote:

Social wise. I really find it hard to socialise, as I need to figure out body language, the way people speak and the words they […]
Show full quote

Social wise. I really find it hard to socialise, as I need to figure out body language, the way
people speak and the words they say. Combining them and figure out the puzzle.
It is like a riddle every single time. A riddle that comes naturally to other people, in wich
they do not have to think deep about how to solve it on every social occation.

I don't think it comes naturally to many people, it's more a case of most people not really giving a shit what others are feeling / thinking. We're a social animal but pretty bloody selfish when it comes down to it I think - I know I am!

What you said about your kids rings true though; people in general I can take or leave but I'm supernaturally fond of my children. Mother nature isn't silly!

brostenen wrote:

I am 40 (41 by Feb.) and retired before time. So my income is a small pension. This is due to the fact that I was diagnosed with […]
Show full quote

I am 40 (41 by Feb.) and retired before time. So my income is a small pension.
This is due to the fact that I was diagnosed with a-typical aspergers syndrome in mild degree.
I was finally diagnosed at the age of 38. Yay me... 🤣

I have allways gotten tired over nothing, can't do more than one big thing a day, find it hard
to deal with large crowds and having difficulties to learn.
Basically translated to me not being able to work, and a complete mental breakdown due
finishing my education in 2013, because of stress. I payed a high price for a piece of paper.
Yeah... Anxiaty is the cost that I have payed for that piece of paper.
It breaks out when too much noise and high volume noise is around me.
Social wise. I really find it hard to socialise, as I need to figure out body language, the way
people speak and the words they say. Combining them and figure out the puzzle.
It is like a riddle every single time. A riddle that comes naturally to other people, in wich
they do not have to think deep about how to solve it on every social occation.

It sounds like you are doing great! It's not easy learning skills that most people take for granted but that don't come naturally to you. We're working through it ourselves with our son, who's got Asperger's. He's extremely gifted in verbal comprehension and spatial awareness, but struggles immensely with processing speed and short-term memory. Makes school a real challenge for him. He tends to learn best hands-on and experientially but struggles in typical classroom settings. We're really focused on his social life too, because there are situations that he misinterprets innocently, when he's actually being made fun of without him realizing it. 🙁

I admire you for getting where you are undiagnosed for so many years. People who don't know someone personally with Asperger's tend not to take it seriously and make unintentional hurtful comments ("everyone struggles with those things", "most people have a hard time with that", etc). Comments that make you feel like if they just tried harder, or you were a better parent, then the issues would go away.

badmojo wrote:

What you said about your kids rings true though; people in general I can take or leave but I'm supernaturally fond of my children. Mother nature isn't silly!

i always had the impression this is rather something bad, people think children are a prolongation of themselves; from there comes sick ambition and everything related to disappointment in another.

clueless1 wrote:

It sounds like you are doing great! It's not easy learning skills that most people take for granted but that don't come naturally to you. We're working through it ourselves with our son, who's got Asperger's. He's extremely gifted in verbal comprehension and spatial awareness, but struggles immensely with processing speed and short-term memory. Makes school a real challenge for him. He tends to learn best hands-on and experientially but struggles in typical classroom settings.

would you give an example? sounds familiar but still i cannot imagine this.

clueless1 wrote:

We're really focused on his social life too, because there are situations that he misinterprets innocently, when he's actually being made fun of without him realizing it. 🙁

now that is something, my parents told me not care and go learn something instead; sometimes i think thats why im scarred by people

clueless1 wrote:

I admire you for getting where you are undiagnosed for so many years. People who don't know someone personally with Asperger's tend not to take it seriously and make unintentional hurtful comments ("everyone struggles with those things", "most people have a hard time with that", etc). Comments that make you feel like if they just tried harder, or you were a better parent, then the issues would go away.

tru64
i sometimes feel like people just have nothing smarter to say to such things; it took me years to realize they talked about themselves and wanted me not to talk about myself

People are quite nice in general, but you have to be nice first to break the ice, everybody will be your friend.

I have a trick for you scaredy cats, focus on and relax you solar plexus area (google it) and breathe, you might even feel your head spinning if you've built a lot of stress, keep doing it.
This will do two things at once; avert your attention from your own thoughts which are not always for your best, and relax you stress center.
There is a lot of science behind this , it definitely works.

clueless1 wrote:

brostenen wrote:

I am 40 (41 by Feb.) and retired before time. So my income is a small pension. This is due to the fact that I was diagnosed with […]
Show full quote

I am 40 (41 by Feb.) and retired before time. So my income is a small pension.
This is due to the fact that I was diagnosed with a-typical aspergers syndrome in mild degree.
I was finally diagnosed at the age of 38. Yay me... 🤣

I have allways gotten tired over nothing, can't do more than one big thing a day, find it hard
to deal with large crowds and having difficulties to learn.
Basically translated to me not being able to work, and a complete mental breakdown due
finishing my education in 2013, because of stress. I payed a high price for a piece of paper.
Yeah... Anxiaty is the cost that I have payed for that piece of paper.
It breaks out when too much noise and high volume noise is around me.
Social wise. I really find it hard to socialise, as I need to figure out body language, the way
people speak and the words they say. Combining them and figure out the puzzle.
It is like a riddle every single time. A riddle that comes naturally to other people, in wich
they do not have to think deep about how to solve it on every social occation.

It sounds like you are doing great! It's not easy learning skills that most people take for granted but that don't come naturally to you. We're working through it ourselves with our son, who's got Asperger's. He's extremely gifted in verbal comprehension and spatial awareness, but struggles immensely with processing speed and short-term memory. Makes school a real challenge for him. He tends to learn best hands-on and experientially but struggles in typical classroom settings. We're really focused on his social life too, because there are situations that he misinterprets innocently, when he's actually being made fun of without him realizing it. 🙁

I admire you for getting where you are undiagnosed for so many years. People who don't know someone personally with Asperger's tend not to take it seriously and make unintentional hurtful comments ("everyone struggles with those things", "most people have a hard time with that", etc). Comments that make you feel like if they just tried harder, or you were a better parent, then the issues would go away.

Don't worry about your son - he'll be fine. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in my first year of medschool (I was 25 or 26). It was very difficult for me as a teenager and later as a young adult - I struggled with social interactions and had a hard time keeping up with my studies - but also stuff like house chores and keeping my things in order. What helped me eventually was motivation and the support of people around me, especially my parents and my sister. Luckily I have lots of (expensive) hobbies, witch motivated me to pursue a career that would allow me to persue them. With motivation I gained willpower, and everything went uphill from there.

I wasn't the best student in school - I could only follow subjects that interested me and came easy to me. I was never good at math when I was in highschool so my first college choice was medschool (motivated by my mom) - but I couldn't keep up with the rest of the students, so I dropped out. I picked up highschool math and studied by myself, then took an entrance exam for what I really wanted to do - computer science - and I got in. I graduated, but like I mentioned in the first post, well paying jobs are hard to find so I went back to medschool. The second time around was just as hard, but I persisted. I studied my ass off so I could keep up with the "young people" and I noticed the more I worked the easier it got. It helped a lot that I like studying medicine - it's a fascinating field - from anatomy to physiology, physiologist and individual medical disciplines - the more you learn the more you want to keep learning more. This is what kept me going. My grades went up exponentially - I started up from the bottom in first year where I was graded 5 or 6 out of 10 in most subjects, but in the second year I doubled my efforts and my worst grade was 7 out of 10. I scored 10 out of 10 at anatomy, and was extremely proud of that.

I figured out I had trouble learning by heart - memorizing text exactly as it was laid out - so I made drawings and schematics. Anatomy was easiest in this regard. At my second year anatomy exam I had to describe the external configuration of the liver - not an easy subject and there is A LOT to talk about. I had trouble talking about these things - it's like a ton on information wanting to come out all at once so I stutter and confuse terms - so I decided I'd take a chance and draw the liver and all it's external features on a piece of paper, label all the features and present it to the professor. At first he was "what is this?" but since it was an oral exam, I started describing all the elements I had drawn and he was impressed. I then learned that I didn't have to do things like everybody else - that I can find other ways that work for me. In 3d year immunology I had to talk about the "complement system" witch deals with blood clothing. Normally you would describe the mechanism by means of the standard "wall of text" but I chose to make a schematic involving all the shortened chemical formulas and IUPAC annotations used for the coagulation factors, using arrows to show how they interacted with each other. Having that in front of me helped me get going (also an oral exam) and I got a 9 out of 10.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Asperger's is not as bad as it seems. The biggest issues are anxiety, lack of motivation and fear of failure. Being different and not being able to fit in can make a kid feel inferior and skew his view on life and society - but it's all a matter of perspective. For example, from my point of view people with Asperger's are normal, and the rest are weird (no offence intended). From a normal person's point of view it's the other way around. If you find motivation you can do anything.

@ Brostenen - dude that food looks awesome. Now I'm hungry 😀

I'd love to see some of your paintings. Maybe you can post some here?

Despite your best efforts to convince me otherwise, I don't think any of you are weird or abnormal. You're just normal people with the usual flaws, prejudices, fears, insecurities, beliefs, and values.

DracoNihil wrote:

I also believe I'm a dragon cursed to live the lives of useless human beings, but let's not get into that...

That's no big deal. Heck, at least there's a kickass video game about you. I'm a hedonist and nihilist who rescues stray cats. Somehow, I convince myself that I'm doing something positive in the world despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Oh, things could be worse... have you seen this?

The American Brexit

Yeah...

DracoNihil wrote:

I also believe I'm a dragon cursed to live the lives of useless human beings, but let's not get into that...

I can totally get why you'd feel that way. When I was a teenager I used to think that real life was a dream I was stuck in and if I could wake up, I'd be happy. Thinking back on it now, I realised that the reason I was denying myself and the life I had back then is because I was unhappy with it and also impatient.

Life was boring. I felt like I could do better - like I should do better. People's everyday struggles felt small and unimportant. And boring. I wanted something bigger. Something to give me purpose in life - to make me feel important - to make me feel that I matter. I realize now that life is a long boring-ass video game where you level up slowly by grinding away at tedious things - but life is not about the end-game. It's about the journey - and it's up to us to make that journey enjoyable and memorable. Try and do things that will make you happy. If you can't right now, set yourself on a path that will - by means of work, study, social activities or simply enjoying alone time if that's what makes you happy. Smile. Don't give into loneliness and depression. Don't put too much value on what others say about you, but keep it in the back of your head for possible future self improvement. Seek out like-minded people and grow together. Take the time to enjoy the moment, and try to find good in everything around you - even if it takes effort to do so. Don't demean yourself - it's the most limiting thing you can do. Try to respect yourself a little bit - try to find traits you like about yourself, and try to assimilate traits you like in others. You look like a normal young man - there's nothing inherently wrong with you or your appearance. I know this sounds like a lot of self-help bullshit, but give it a little tough. And listen to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

brostenen wrote:

Social wise. I really find it hard to socialise, as I need to figure out body language, the way people speak and the words they […]
Show full quote

Social wise. I really find it hard to socialise, as I need to figure out body language, the way
people speak and the words they say. Combining them and figure out the puzzle.
It is like a riddle every single time. A riddle that comes naturally to other people, in wich
they do not have to think deep about how to solve it on every social occation.

^This^ I took a lot of shit in school as a teenager because of this. People don't like others who are different. I think I got around it tough - over a decade of studying other (normal) people, I was able to see patterns in body language and speech that I can now recognize, interpret and reproduce artificially. It took a LONG F**ing TIME, but I think I got the gist of it - and it's helped a great deal.

brostenen wrote:

The only thing that help me give a damn about it are alcohol, and I simply hate being drunk.

I also hate being drunk. I'm addicted to tobacco tough. Alcohol makes me feel like I'm coming down with a cold. It doesn't lift my inhibitions, and it certainly doesn't make me feel happier, irregardless of how much I drink. Same with weed and other stuff. There's a medical explanation for this. You see, people within the autistic spectrum have slightly different brain chemistry and a differently structured Archicortex (that's the primitive part of your brain that governs feelings, motivation and social skills). It's this (minimal) variation that denies some of us pleasure from alcohol and narcotic substances, but gives us an advantage when it comes to scientific, engineering and artistic skills. A friend of mine (first year psychiatry resident) is actually writing a paper on it - it's a study covering around 400 young adults with varying degrees of autism. The acrhicortex (or allocortex as it's called in english medical literature) is also responsible for storing memories. People with Asperger's and mild autism have trouble memorizing things like names and new complex terms, but can easily assimilate geometric shapes, patterns, numbers and abstract constructs. This can be overcome with work and brain training.

Also, here's a picture of e at work, and a picture of some of my model tanks:

mrau wrote:

clueless1 wrote:

It sounds like you are doing great! It's not easy learning skills that most people take for granted but that don't come naturally to you. We're working through it ourselves with our son, who's got Asperger's. He's extremely gifted in verbal comprehension and spatial awareness, but struggles immensely with processing speed and short-term memory. Makes school a real challenge for him. He tends to learn best hands-on and experientially but struggles in typical classroom settings.

would you give an example? sounds familiar but still i cannot imagine this.

For example, if we go to a musuem, he will visually absorb, then fire off questions in rapid succession. We do our best to answer them (or point him to a staff person who can). By the time we come home, he is practically an expert on the place. Also, in Minecraft, he usually does not get lost if he goes exploring into new territory. We've played together, and I get so turned around I can't find my way back to home base, and he just says "follow me". 😀 His spatial comprehension is much better than mine. But for whatever reason, he'd rather ask questions to a human than look it up on Google. I can't tell you how many times he's asked me a question and my response is, "Google it, that's what I'm going to do". I think he wants the answer faster than it would take for him to type it into Google.

mrau wrote:

clueless1 wrote:

We're really focused on his social life too, because there are situations that he misinterprets innocently, when he's actually being made fun of without him realizing it. 🙁

now that is something, my parents told me not care and go learn something instead; sometimes i think thats why im scarred by people

Well, yeah. There's that line every parent struggle not to cross (rescuing their kids instead of having them work it out for themselves). You want your child to learn and grow from mistakes. But when they don't realize they are being teased or made fun, and are laughing along with the teasers, that's just not fair.

kanecvr wrote:

I figured out I had trouble learning by heart - memorizing text exactly as it was laid out - so I made drawings and schematics.

Yeah, that's a trait he shares with you...and a solution we encourage him to implement. Like you, math is a thorn in his side, and this strategy is not so easy to use with Math, but real life examples do help.

kanecvr wrote:

I guess what I'm trying to say is Asperger's is not as bad as it seems. The biggest issues are anxiety, lack of motivation and fear of failure. Being different and not being able to fit in can make a kid feel inferior and skew his view on life and society - but it's all a matter of perspective. For example, from my point of view people with Asperger's are normal, and the rest are weird (no offence intended). From a normal person's point of view it's the other way around. If you find motivation you can do anything.

That's the trick. He's still young enough that he's not motivated to find motivation. 😀

SquallStrife wrote:

Tetrium wrote:

brostenen, you look absolutely amazing! 😁

Btw, I can relate to a lot that's been mentioned so far.

I have a bit of a paranoid ...thingy though 😊

"Paranoia is a very comforting state of mind. If you think they're out to get you, it means you think you matter"

That's a very unique way of looking at it.

clueless1 wrote:

I can't tell you how many times he's asked me a question and my response is, "Google it, that's what I'm going to do". I think he wants the answer faster than it would take for him to type it into Google.

thats because he needs to be rewarded for his input very fast in order not to loose interest; this is something that may be my problem as well, i have never overcome it, even if most people would say that i am calm and patient; it has grown into a thing where i want things here and now or i dont want any reward at all and feel bad for getting it;

clueless1 wrote:

We're really focused on his social life too, because there are situations that he misinterprets innocently, when he's actually being made fun of without him realizing it. 🙁

quite similar here too i guess, i often dont get how much "between the lines" and context there is in a conversation; i mainly dont get peoples way and wishes that manifest in the way they speak;

clueless1 wrote:

Well, yeah. There's that line every parent struggle not to cross (rescuing their kids instead of having them work it out for themselves). You want your child to learn and grow from mistakes. But when they don't realize they are being teased or made fun, and are laughing along with the teasers, that's just not fair.

im not sure what youre saying now

clueless1 wrote:

I guess what I'm trying to say is Asperger's is not as bad as it seems. The biggest issues are anxiety, lack of motivation and fear of failure. Being different and not being able to fit in can make a kid feel inferior and skew his view on life and society - but it's all a matter of perspective.

matter of perspective? explain please. i dont know if im really similar regarding my intellectual/emotional problems, i can tell you that there are similarities and im quite damaged and i even infect with this damage when in contact

mrau wrote:

im not sure what youre saying now

Imagine you are with people who notice that you are different and start to make fun of you (or tease, or bully, however you want to describe it). You do not understand that they are making fun of you. You think that their laughter means that they are enjoying being with you. So you laugh too. You are happy because they are laughing. You think they are laughing because they like you, when in fact they are laughing AT you because they are making fun of you. In fact, they don't like you at all.

Hopefully that explains the situation in a way that makes sense.

clueless1 wrote:

Imagine you are with people who notice that you are different and start to make fun of you (or tease, or bully, however you want to describe it). You do not understand that they are making fun of you. You think that their laughter means that they are enjoying being with you. So you laugh too. You are happy because they are laughing. You think they are laughing because they like you, when in fact they are laughing AT you because they are making fun of you. In fact, they don't like you at all.

Hopefully that explains the situation in a way that makes sense.

ok, but thats still very generic. being picked on is just part of being different. how that evolves over time is what matters imo.
im still not sure why you would talk about "letting the kid learn on his mistakes" in such a situation. learning is a product of having and being able, you say your son does not have the understanding of other peoples actions. for myself id say i understand that im inadequate and low on the social ladder but i totally dont have the sill to change anything, this did not change over many years. my being left alone with this problem helped me learn to cope?

mrau wrote:

clueless1 wrote:

Imagine you are with people who notice that you are different and start to make fun of you (or tease, or bully, however you want to describe it). You do not understand that they are making fun of you. You think that their laughter means that they are enjoying being with you. So you laugh too. You are happy because they are laughing. You think they are laughing because they like you, when in fact they are laughing AT you because they are making fun of you. In fact, they don't like you at all.

Hopefully that explains the situation in a way that makes sense.

ok, but thats still very generic. being picked on is just part of being different.

I don't agree with this.

I've noticed it's only a particular kind of people that picks on people who are different. heck, I never pick on people who are different and most people I know don't pick on people who are different either!