First post, by totoro
How is it possible to produce a machine so ugly and so irritating? I often ask when I look at it. Yes, this must be either work of art or work of a pure evil intention. It really makes me hate myself for this hobby...
First, you take a big and ugly desktop case, then screw it with Torx.
Then make some kind of Power Supply, make it in non-standard size case of course, make it to have an ATX connection to tease them, but with AT style power on control switch, place no power control circuit on the motherboard, because, who needs it, if they shall only use our great Power Supply!
Oh, let's not forget, the great computer needs great sound, let's take the great ES1868, which features bugless MPU, let's remove that MPU, because glorious sound of adlib is all that user needs! Let's call it Premiere, for giggles.
Hey, we need video! What's the greatest video chip out there? Oh, the S3! OK, let's have that, but without any ram! Because we can!
Look, do you know the worst Chipset known man? Yes, VIA! Right! let's use it then!
Let's play a trick, let's fuse the CMOS battery to some metal clips and solder it to the motherboard, then we shall write on the diagram inside the case: "User Replaceable CMOS Battery"!
And You know what really would be fun? Like the most fun they shall ever have? No, what? The BIOS partition on the user hard drive! It'll be excellent! The drive shall suffer bad sectors, shall go missing and or die! Then users shall come on their knees begging for our recovery floppies! And we shall make them juggle those around like harlequins! Whahahahaha!
Finally let's give them sturdy keyboard, with the best backplate we can find, let's make it so robust, that it would not break under any circumstances, and then use these rubber switch'es, yeah, they shall forever have these shitty keys! We will give them the cheapest mouse that we can find for free. This shall convince them to make a purchase of a life time!
Yeah, I'm talking about infamous Compaq Deskpro 2000! Which was forced on to me, by my evil evil friend, for restoration. Stay tuned, the build log shall come soon!