Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained!

Better luck next time.

keenmaster486 wrote:

Well, shoot... […]
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Well, shoot...

She just flat-out rejected me. I should have known 🤣

Oh well. It's ok though, I kind of knew it was coming because she kept trying to brush me off. At least I didn't end up having to email her and directly force the issue like with that other girl.

On the plus side I have her number now 🤣 No, just kidding, I'm not going to do anything with it.

No worry, rejection is part of the game, and it's always better to try and lose instead of never trying at all.

Just remember: it's a big big world out there. 😉

Next time, wait until the project/class is almost over. I hope the discomfort that follows isn't nearly as bad as mine was.

While some cultures and individuals may prefer the direct approach that you presented (which I consider a straight out confession), this has not been my experience since at least primary school. See if the Tao of Steve is on Netflix. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tao_of_Steve

Doh, I was wondering what her answer was, but for some reason I missed the last reply on the 3rd page 😊

Sorry to hear that, but at least you gave it a shot 😀.

feipoa wrote:

Next time, wait until the project/class is almost over. I hope the discomfort that follows isn't nearly as bad as mine was.

While some cultures and individuals may prefer the direct approach that you presented (which I consider a straight out confession), this has not been my experience since at least primary school. See if the Tao of Steve is on Netflix. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tao_of_Steve

To me the discomfort isn't that bad anymore, I can't really help really liking a woman so if she doesn't want to get romantically involved, it's not even really my fault 😁.

Yeah dont worry about it, at least now it will be a tiny bit easier to ask the next one out 😀

s0ren wrote:

Yeah dont worry about it, at least now it will be a tiny bit easier to ask the next one out 😀

^^This.

Btw, what really helped me, was to simply talk to women the same way I talk to men (not to think of them as being demi-gods, so to say. They are just people like you and I), it made socializing with women I actually find interesting in a romantic way a lot easier.

Tetrium wrote:

Btw, what really helped me, was to simply talk to women the same way I talk to men (not to think of them as being demi-gods, so to say. They are just people like you and I), it made socializing with women I actually find interesting in a romantic way a lot easier.

I tried this, but it didn't really work. Me and my mates were in a bar and asked these two girls their thoughts of AR-15 vs AK-47, but they didn't seem to be interested. I found it odd, as every single male I've spoken to regarding the matter found it very interesting and had some sort of opinion about them. Next time I might ask how they felt about using Agent Orange as a pesticide, but I'm not too sure...

keenmaster486 wrote:

Well, shoot... […]
Show full quote

Well, shoot...

She just flat-out rejected me. I should have known 🤣

Oh well. It's ok though, I kind of knew it was coming because she kept trying to brush me off. At least I didn't end up having to email her and directly force the issue like with that other girl.

On the plus side I have her number now 🤣 No, just kidding, I'm not going to do anything with it.

That's common when you ask to go get coffee, your better off asking if they have something planed and join in or ask if they wanted to go do something fun as appose to go getting coffee if you at the collage age

It doesn't matter what you ask her to do or go to... if she likes you she will accept anything and if she doesn't she won't go anyway.

It's important to display something she may find attractive before asking her out. But usually the confidence that you can talk to her and make a bit of fun out of her is the easy way. If she takes it on a light and funny note, you're on a good way. If shes all serious and uptight you better next her.

keenmaster486 wrote:

Well, shoot... […]
Show full quote

Well, shoot...

She just flat-out rejected me. I should have known 🤣

Oh well. It's ok though, I kind of knew it was coming because she kept trying to brush me off. At least I didn't end up having to email her and directly force the issue like with that other girl.

On the plus side I have her number now 🤣 No, just kidding, I'm not going to do anything with it.

Sorry man, that sucks. I went through many rejections in college, but did end up with a couple of girlfriends that did not last, thank God. Otherwise I wouldn't have met my awesome wife. 😀 Stay positive, and stay true to who you are. You will find the right woman when the time is right.

edit: "Stay positive, and stay true to who you are." <-I could've written that in your yearbook. 🤣

The reason you never saw it coming was because you've never read feminist propaganda like Teen Magazine, Teen Vogue, Top Teen, or Seventeen. While being caught reading one might cause you to lose face, at least it'll help you to understand what you're up against.

I'm not sure what kind of program you're enrolled in, but I got the impression it might be some kind of engineering or technical school. Would women happen to be a minority there? I strongly recommend avoiding them in places like that, because they get *lots* of attention (Do you look like Brad Pitt?). You're better off just finishing your education and worrying about women after you have a stable job and income (but then you have to watch out for women who make a career out of divorce).

I'm guessing that since you indicated having a Christian partner is important to you, that you're looking for something steady that will lead to marriage, and not just looking for a good time. As you may have already noticed, the institution of marriage and the "family unit" in America is for the most part broken. I think it's sad how few Americans under the age of 30 want to get married and have kids these days. Many people have postponed adulthood well into their 40s. Unfortunately, it is unlikely this trend will change in the foreseeable future.

It's not to say that there aren't any good American women, but it's going to feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. Maybe I'm just special, but most of the women I met doing international dating seemed a lot more normal to me, and were easy to get along with. Just something to consider.

keenmaster486 wrote:

She just flat-out rejected me. I should have known 🤣

This is why you have to keep things low-key, put a lid on your emotions, and move slowly at first. Making formal requests for coffee dates or other overt expressions of interest will blow up in your face nine times out of ten with teenage and twenty-something American women - they do NOT respond well to the traditional formalities of courtship. It's like trying to interface via zmodem with a server that uses TCP/IP, you're using the wrong protocol.

You need to develop a realistic understanding of modern Western women and the types of approaches they respond to. Recommend learning about "game" and reading some PUA literature online. Even if you have no intention of going that route, it will open your eyes to the realities of 21st-century dating in America, where you've got to have game if you want to succeed. As feipoa said, the basic concepts of the "Tao of Steve" will be helpful as a starting point.

To put it in a nutshell, if you want your interest to be reciprocated you need to be self-secure, confident, and casual in your approach to women. You need to make yourself attractive by being physically fit and/or successful in an appealing way (career, athletics, expressive arts, etc). And your approach needs to make evident that you're not putting your heart on the chopping block, but rather you are inviting her to tag along with you with zero pressure or expectations.

Anonymous Coward wrote:

As you may have already noticed, the institution of marriage and the "family unit" in America is for the most part broken.

BADLY broken, thanks predominantly to no-fault divorce, spousal / child support, the sexual revolution, and a bunch of other "progressive" ideas that destroyed the foundations of the Western family fifty years ago. Sounds like you prefer a more traditional approach to relationships, which is probably why you've had more success with your international dating. Eastern women come from a culture that predominantly retains traditional values with regards to courtship, marriage, and family relations.

Man. Just don't be creepy about it.

Things only get awkward if you make no effort to keep it light.

I'm tempted to say that the worst she can do is say no, but that's ignoring the fact that you see her in person on a regular basis. It's a really tough call. I'd observe her behavior further and try not to be noticed, then if she makes it clear that she doesn't have a husband or a boyfriend, I'd start talking to her.

Act like it never happened, like she is just another girl in your class.

kixs wrote:

Act like it never happened, like she is just another girl in your class.

^^Exactly this. It releases any possible tensions and it's very human, so probably things can go as smooth as they went before you asked her.

Yeh, just think oh well.
Now at least you know where you stand. She's the same girl as before nothing more, nothing less. but now there isn't any point waiting time thinking about her