I bang on about the YMF719 a lot here, but I've tried a LOT of different sound cards and for your basic Sound Blaster compatible digital and OPL3 FM, and with a working MIDI port (no hanging note bug), its the best I've tried. It's compatibility seems equal to a real SB and has much better sound quality than all the Creative cards I've tried.
AWE64 is good (especially the Gold version with better SNR) and the MIDI port doesn't have the hanging note bug, but the CQM synth is a bit hit and miss.
Some games that were written for AWE do sound better with it (IMHO I think Tyrian sounds best on AWE) but trying to make the AWE work with games that only support General MIDI can be frustrating due to the drivers and often doesn't have good results.
The AWE sample set is a bit ordinary sometimes though. Some of the Doom songs sound terrible on an AWE for example.
Similar situation with the Gravis Ultrasound. Some games that were written for it sound best on it, and it has a large demoscene following as well. Again, trying to make it work with games that didn't support it natively can be frustrating and gives poor results. I also could never get the MIDI port to work on my GUS Classic under DOS.
If you play games that support MT32 natively then you really want to get a MT32 or compatible (CM32, LAPC-I etc) as there's really no substitute.
Once you get into MIDI it becomes even harder to choose. I like the Yamaha XG synths (like DB50XG/XR385), some people like the Roland synths like the Sound Canvas. Again, some games will sound better than others on other synths. Some people like the Ensoniq card's MIDI. There are plenty of others out there to try as well.
So basically there can't really be an objectively best sound card for DOS, there are too many options and people have different tastes, and it really depends on what you want to do.
I should point out that in the 90's I had an SB16 with those standard black plastic unamplified paper cone speakers , and was happy with it because I didn't know any better. 😀
1: What is the ULTIMATE sound setup for a 386 & how much should I pay for it.
In my 386 I have an MPU-401 card and a SB PRO. I'd happily swap the SB Pro for a YMF719 but I'm using a Sony CDROM drive with it and I'm too lazy to swap all those around. With the MPU401 I can swap between my MT32 and DB10XG (Yamaha GM synth) as required.
I have an Ensoniq S2000 and a GUS Classic to stick in there if required... but I haven't felt the need to yet.
2: What is the SMART sound setup I should buy & for how much.
Well... I'd say 'smartest' to do in terms of cost is to get a YMF719 and use it to run an SC55, or similar external synth.
SC55 can run in MT32 compatible mode (it won't sound as good as the real thing and you'll still need to patch your games) but will work reasonably well and has good GM sound, and you won't need to wrestle with drivers to make the sound work. SC55's can be had for about $100 and the YMF719 can be found for about $20 on ebay
There may be 'better' cards out there but they tend to cost a lot more. I think the above is a reasonable compromise.
You COULD get the XR385 for even cheaper but you'll need to wire up a cable and I believe there's a MIDI file you need to play to set it to MT32 compatible patch set. An external synth like the SC55 is more expensive but less hassle
3: What is the MOST COMPATIBLE?
Compatible with what? If you want MT32 compatibility you need an MT32 type device from Roland.
If you want SB Pro compatibility then get a SB Pro.
If you want Gravis compatibility then get a Gravis.
Again, I vote for the YMF719 for SB/OPL3 compatibility and with a working MIDI port you can use any external synth without too much fiddling. I've yet to run into a game that doesn't work with my YMF719.
If you are squeamish, don't prod the beach rubble.