Stiletto wrote on 2021-11-04, 21:16:

This might be more "Milliways" appropriate... not "System Specs", I don't think, because it doesn't exist (yet)! […]
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This might be more "Milliways" appropriate... not "System Specs", I don't think, because it doesn't exist (yet)!

So, not sure how many people saw this article today but:
https://hackaday.com/2021/11/04/weird-als-mon … onably-fast-pc/

Which is all about the classic Weird Al song (and unofficial VOGONS anthem?) "It's All About The Pentiums".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpMvS1Q1sos

The article is all about musing upon what Weird Al's "uber nerd character's" PC build's specs would have been, and how those specs aren't all that impressive today.

I think we can do better, both on nailing the hardware and the software/operating system configuration - or at least come into ballpark even more. 😁
Once we got it nailed, one of you guys with more money than sense could build it... with some gangsta 1999 case mods and all! 😁

On the one hand, the singer is as much a braggart as Puff Daddy was in the original "It's All About The Benjamins". The late 90s gangsta rap braggadocio. So this may all be hyperbolically exaggerated. Don't need to interpret ANY of this literally - but it's fun to try!

On the other hand, the character is "down with Bill Gates, I call him 'Money' for short, I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support" which implies that money is NO object and there is no limit to these specs... other than the release date of the song.

So let's be era-appropriate! 😁

Era:
Recorded: April 19, 1999
"Running With Scissors" album released: June 28, 1999
Music Video was shot June 30-July 2 1999 (https://web.archive.org/web/20000229042458/ht … com/behind.html )
Released as Single (with B-Side "The Saga Begins"): August 4, 1999
Music Video released on same date: http://www.mtv.com/news/1435280/weird-al-enli … -for-new-video/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_All_About_the_Pentiums
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Running_w ... vic_album)
Music video shows a "live concert" with a large "Welcome to COMDEX" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COMDEX) sign - however this was all staged - COMDEX 1998 was too early, COMDEX 1999 wasn't until November. (http://edition.cnn.com/TECH/computing/comdex1 … 1999/index.html)

This implies a drop-dead final date for specs of August 4, 1999, earliest date of April 19, 1999.

References:
Official lyrics: https://web.archive.org/web/20000229144944/ht … com/lyrics.html
Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpMvS1Q1sos

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Lyrical clues:

- "it's all about the Pentiums" - it doesn't use an AMD or Cyrix chip, not even a DEC Alpha.

- "Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills" - it's got a HDD.

- "I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM" - THIS IS KEY

- "Installed a T1 line in my house" - it has Ethernet, probably 10/100. T1 line might be directly connected, but more likely connected to a router for an in-home network. Someone in the comments section of the article ballparks the price on a personal T1 line at $1000/mo USD in 1999 dollars...

- "double-clickin' on my mizouse" - it has a mouse as an input device.

- "Upgrade my system at least twice a day" - more likely to be a desktop PC than a laptop

- "I'm strictly plug-and-play" - all PC motherboards, most expansion cards, and all OS's of 1999 should be Plug and Play (PCI, USB, etc.) - it isn't anything older

- "I ain't afraid of Y2K" - it has all available Y2K patches

- "I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him Money for short, I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support" - implies (but doesn't guarantee) that at least one of the operating systems it runs is a Microsoft OS

- "Rule cyberspace" - Definitely has a web browser

- "crunch numbers like I do? They call me the king of the spreadsheets, Got em all printed out on my bedsheets" - spreadsheet software is a requisite installation

- "My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks, But it was obsolete before I opened the box" - bleeding edge, high MHz CPU(s)

- "My digital media is write-protected"- ???

- "Every file inspected, no viruses detected" - antivirus software -at least- is installed on the Microsoft OS, maybe others

- "I beta tested every operating system, Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em" - A lot to say here. If all were tested on his primary box... Might STILL be running a beta of an OS. Windows for sure beta tested. "Every operating system"? How is he running macOS aside from emulation? Too early for macOS 10.4 Tiger on x86 processors, so he might mean the Apple "Rhapsody" x86 previews, although that had severe hardware limitations. Then again, with an unlimited budget, might expand the HD support. Besides, the character is "payin' the bills with my mad programming skills" so it is possible. On the other hand, this might not be his only box!
This ALSO implies that he's got multiple operating systems installed. Although a number of people out there DO interpret "gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em" as the character likely being a Linux fanboy versus a Microsoft one, but that may be their personal bias coming out...

- "While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'" - definitely modern operating systems

- "It does all my work without me even askin'" - feels like exaggeration here, too early for AI-driven things. But maybe he means some productivity software and some well-written scripts.

- "Got a flat-screen monitor, 40" wide" - THIS IS ALSO KEY. 40" plasma television "monitor" in 1999? Gut feeling it's that, timeline is close... Unlikely to be an LCD unless a grid of LCD monitors, and he specifically says "a monitor", not a bunch of monitors. "Flat screen monitor" could also be a 40" flat CRT, but as the writer says, that is unlikely...

- "In a 32-bit world" - not x64 or IA64 Itanium, too early - but it's not any 16-bit OS. On the other hand, this is used as a part of a rapper "diss", and doesn't need to be strictly interpreted as 32-bit being what Al's character uses.

- "If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you" - again implies usage of a Microsoft OS, although this keystroke sequence also functions in Linux and OS/2. Also, this is part of a "diss" and need not be interpreted literally....

... you could also flip some of the "disses" on their head...
- "You're using a 286? Don't make me laugh" - the CPU is WAY beyond a 286
- "Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?" - fast boot speeds
- "You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette" - but Al has a TON of storage so he can't.
- "Your database is a disaster" - Al is a capable database programmer
- "You're waxin' your modem tryin' to make it go faster" - Al's not on dial-up
- "Your mother board melts when you try to send a fax" - Al does have functional digital fax capability - probably via 56K faxmodem!
- "Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?" - Al bought his CPU(s) from a reputable 1999 source

--------

Visual clues:

- there's a scene where Al's sitting in an office with a laptop on the desk that may or not be his. I suspect a Dell. However, this is implied to be an office computer, not what he uses at home

- there's a visual "tunnel" as a background that shows motherboards and a cooling fan, but this seems to be props department generated and shouldn't be clues to this imaginary beast

- ... that's about it.

----------

"Era appropriateness":

- I gotta concur with the Hackaday writer, Al's most likely running Intel Pentium III Xeon. I'll go so far as to say a dual CPU or quad CPU (or more) motherboard. Doesn't seem to be a budget, so we can go nuts!
Bleeding edge would have been Pentium III Xeon 550 "Tanner" core (SL3FK (C0), SL3FR (C0), SL3LM (C0), SL3Y4 (C0), SL3AJ (C0)) with a launch date of April 7, 1999 - however, that only has 512 KB L2 cache. So Al would more likely go for the Pentium III Xeon 500 "Tanner" core with 2MB L2 cache (SL2XW (B0), SL3CB (B0), SL387 (C0), SL3DB (C0)) and maybe even overclock? IDK. He's got the clocks, it rocks, it's all about the Pentiums.

- "100 GB of RAM" - so this, like I highlighted, is probably either 96 GB or 128GB given computer architecture. But the Hackaday writer gets into how that's improbable with 1999 Microsoft OS's. Definitely implies a Microsoft NT OS or Linux as an OS though, he could be beta-testing Windows 2000 like I did (it wasn't released in August 1999) but I am not sure what the RAM limitation is on any of its 1999 betas, what with PAE and different editions (Workstation/Server/etc.) adding more variables. The article writer claims that any Linux or Windows NT of the time would max out around 32GB. However, the article writer misses a few other possibilities beyond the custom supercomputer solution, especially that Al might have more than one box. 100GB of RAM in one home system... he might have an early Beowulf cluster (or other sort of cluster) setup!

... CAN. WE. GO. DEEPER? 😁

I've just been watching Mission Impossible. This tape well self destruct in 1osec..

This is a rap song so expect exaggeration.
If you take it literally then if he upgrades his system (yes it says system and not systems) at least twice a day then he's going to likely have a lot of computers. This goes with "beta tested every operating system" but if he gives props and disses them then likely he doesn't run every operating system he just beta tests them so that would limit the number of systems.
100gb is a strange number in one system so make sense for it to be multiple systems.

or more likely he has a bunch of ram in a drawer.

For digital media I always assumed he was talking about CD, DVD and/or tape. He already dissed floppy and I doubt setting the attribute counts since he also mentioned viruses.

Weird Al and Lil Dicky need to do a video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvHYWD29ZNY

This song got this epic line:

You're just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller

Google Helen Keller if you don't know who it is.

DosFreak wrote on 2021-11-04, 22:28:

100gb is a strange number in one system so make sense for it to be multiple systems.

or more likely he has a bunch of ram in a drawer.

Or he don't even realise he's being one of those dumbasses that calls storage space RAM

Haha. Think you got it. Likely did a RAID 0 on that l33t system and set the pagefile min/max to the full amount so SQL had more memory 😉

Also Re: Divide by zero & Boobia City

100GB of RAM is completely implausible for a Windows-OS-running system of this age. The idea that he has 100+GB of RAM overall, not just in one system, seems like the right angle. Perhaps he has as much RAM as he can feasibly cram in the one x86 machine, and he has a non-x86 server off somewhere else that has the bulk of this number.

Stiletto wrote on 2021-11-04, 21:16:

- "I beta tested every operating system, Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em" - A lot to say here. If all were tested on his primary box... Might STILL be running a beta of an OS. Windows for sure beta tested. "Every operating system"? How is he running macOS aside from emulation? Too early for macOS 10.4 Tiger on x86 processors, so he might mean the Apple "Rhapsody" x86 previews, although that had severe hardware limitations. Then again, with an unlimited budget, might expand the HD support. Besides, the character is "payin' the bills with my mad programming skills" so it is possible. On the other hand, this might not be his only box!
This ALSO implies that he's got multiple operating systems installed. Although a number of people out there DO interpret "gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em" as the character likely being a Linux fanboy versus a Microsoft one, but that may be their personal bias coming out...

he can have VMware Workstation 1.0. It could be a stretch but it came out in 1999

My money is still on Beowulf cluster for the RAM explanation, that is SO late 90's-early 00's for uber PC nerd bragging rights. Can't remember if there was a common distro for that back then...

Weird. I think the last Weird-Al album I heard of was "Bad Hair Day". Even that one wasn't that great. I'm surprised he's still going considering the state of mainstream muzak.

🤣 good post ! My oldest fav is "Eat It" or "like a surgeon" from mid 1980's think Eat It had John Goodman playing a part. 🤣. Great old paradies...

Subscribed.

Assume we are looking at a TNT2 Ultra for VGA duties with some kind of (throwing it out there) multi-3dfx Voodoo2 or Voodoo3-based Quantum3D Obsidian?

Too early for the GeForce 256 DDR or ATI Rage Fury Maxx…

if only intel had came out with a gpu card that sucked up 2gb+ of system ram from the agp bus then server 2000 would had been the bling with 32gb system ram 😀

I’m also thinking I didn’t aim high enough - what would a game designer / motion graphics / animator have been using in their studio workstation in mid-1999? Surely that would be top of the line unaffordable to the masses kind of stuff.

For reference, the team at Pixar would have been completing Toy Story 2 around that time of the year - what would they have been using if not for a bunch of PowerMacs?

pixelatedscraps wrote on 2021-11-05, 06:25:

I’m also thinking I didn’t aim high enough - what would a game designer / motion graphics / animator have been using in their studio workstation in mid-1999? Surely that would be top of the line unaffordable to the masses kind of stuff.

For reference, the team at Pixar would have been completing Toy Story 2 around that time of the year - what would they have been using if not for a bunch of PowerMacs?

well, the software they used was called "renderman" that is licensed to film studios which PIXAR developed and had a part in other titles such as Terminator 2. Some of the original creators used macs at home including as the animator for toy story 😀
Before the movies, Pixar wasn't in the movie business. Instead, the company was hawking computers specifically for visual effects. Pixar created short films and improved its animation skills in the process to show potential customers what its computers could do.
so i guess more specifically
anyone got a hawking pc to boast about?

We're in danger of going off-topic here. I'm specifically talking about VGA + 3D accelerator cards to go with a Pentium III Xeon build - the Pixar reference was more of a 'how high would that bar have been in 1999?' kinda reference. That said, I'm duckduckgoing 'Hawking PC' as we speak 😉

Yeah the 100GB i'd say is a 3x40GB SCSI RAID with virtual memory, and yeah big wide plasma monitors aren't too unusual for 1999 either. Al could likely afford either by this time anyway X)

When this song came out, it certainly was that dorky P3 marketing and Jar Jar Binks era so I can't shake off that 1999 rust whenever I think about Running with Scissors. Intel was finally pushing their P2/P3 to the consumer market heavily in this part of the year.

It's also the last song written and recorded for the album so he'd likely have Win98SE installed, not even a month old, and probably with a Win2000 beta at the side. For a high-end video card that was available that time, probably that one particular Mirage Illusionist Savage4 32MB (necessary for driving any big monitor plasma or otherwise supporting 1920x1440x32, anyway)

"While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'"

In 1999 - this screams that he was running NT4, and probably dual booting some prerelease version of Win2k.
Normal home users were all using Win95/98 and complaining about it crashing. Only people "in the know" ran NT, like this badass in the song.

He could also have a 3rd boot option for Win98, which he hates. He doesn't say anything about being a gamer, but even if he isn't, he wants Win98 available just so he can run *everything* and retain maximum eliteness.

100GB of RAM

Maybe he has 96MB and doesn't do math very good.

For high values of 1337, 9x doesn't crash much. For values of 1337 around <blink>1200</blink> yah it crashes a lot.

I think I can build this, "I ain't afraid of Y2K" build 😀

S2DG2, Xeon 500Mhz x2, TNT2 Ultra 32MB Savage 4 AGP (Assuming Savage 2000 and GF256 are out), Fireball RAID 0 >100GB with cache, 2GB Ram, Win NT Windows 2000 Beta, SuperDisk, ISDN Modem, but my Hitachi ALIS plasma is 2000/1 🙁

Need dat Sony minidisc recorder - "My digital media is write-protected"- ???