Welcome to the forum. 😀

Check if there perhaps is a BIOS setting for default display.

Does one of the F1-F10 keys have a picture of a monitor on it? Usually there's a separate "function" key you need to press with it to switch to using the external port.

There seems to be a dedicated FN button, but it does not work, i think it used to work only in windows, maybe i damaged the VGA port at one point, i will need to check. No bios setting for the default display. I vaguely remeber i had the same issue with this laptop and Linux, i think i solved it with a driver. So in your opinion this a hardware problem, not a driver?

Most probably it's a software issue. Often these machines had a BIOS option to always force a mode, but if this doesn't it's not unlikely that the output (or the fn keys) can only be enabled with software.
Sharing the exact laptop model could also help, maybe another member has the same and can help.

Its Samsung N130. I have found out that in case of that laptop the FN button works in Windows only, I should have the drivers CD somewhere, perhaps it has DOS drivers, who knows. Oddly, some FN buttons do work without windows but not the VGA port activation.