Dont.
Its you. Why would you hide you from her?

ElectroSoldier wrote on 2026-02-17, 19:30:

Dont.
Its you. Why would you hide you from her?

She'd have me take it all to the tip. Or, in your framing, throw myself in the tip! 😁

Sell it, sell myself.. hmm..

SWMBO is logical. She'd ask "Why do you need so many computers?" and my answer would be, "I don't know. Maybe they each remind me of a past crush.. " 😉

What is SWMBO? i google it but no luck to understand

I only hide my PC and stuff from goverment

theelf wrote on 2026-02-18, 00:01:

What is SWMBO? i google it but no luck to understand

I only hide my PC and stuff from goverment

She With Most Big O!x!xing
(but seriously, it's the first hit on Google)

Don't have one, makes life far more simple, you lose a few comforts but gain significant freedom and peace.

Thankfully the comforts can be replaced fairly quickly with alternatives that don't impinge on your freedom or peace.

The hard truth is even I find myself difficult to live with ...it would only be a matter of time before any SWMBO would either kill me or leave and take half my shit with her.

I like my shit, so easier to not have a SWMBO.

*At least I have enough self awareness to know my faults and eccentricities and to accept that I am not marriage material.

Modern boxes for AI, well then, to totally allay her fears make her watch..
Electric Dreams (1984)
Weird Science (1985)
and all will be well.

I'm with TrashBytes.

Barring a most unusual confluence of events that would border upon the supernatural (in the nearly lovecraftian way), I do not imagine myself *ever* having to deal with She Who Must Be Obeyed.

I've never had the impulse, never understood the draw, and do not see an upside. I am perfectly content being single and not looking.

And as a consequence, I have a projects room with server equipment that sounds like the runway at a delta hub, with nobody complaining about either its ugliness, or its loud racket.

But in all seriousness, assumimg SWMBO is in any way sensible or equitable, just be level with her about your collection of nerdy guy things, and in return, dont be critical of any of her very prominent girl things. Make a sensible agreement together that your hobbies and intetests stay in their areas and out of the shared living spaces, and just generally accept things.

Then you can have your upstairs room full of retro treasures, and she can have whatever she's into in her refuge of choice.

Sadly, I've observed that most couples can't actually do this, with the agreed taboo getting broken the instant shared finances intersect, and an expensive indulgence is sought, leading to tit-for-tat, followed by arguments...

Again though, my most sincere suggestion is to be aware of things like this, have a wholesome and respectful relationship with your SO, and come to workable terms together that will remove this, and other sources of contention in your relationship. Everyone *needs* a sense of autonomy and self actualization/fulfillment/empowerment in life, and *cannot* be wholly subsumed by a shared concept of 'ours'. It makes people unhappy and unfulfilled. Being honest, and sincere about this, and genuinely reciprocating this acceptence with each other is one of the secrets of an actually healthy relationship.

'Hiding' your nerdy collection is really not healthy, nor wise. You really cant keep such secrets, and if you try, you'll just be unhappy. It's defacto going to great lengths to conceal an important part of your self identity from your partner, to present what you think they will find as an idealized one instead. Not healthy in any way.

Your hobbies should be fully known, and accepted, even if not shared.

The converse, should be likewise.

I wasn't familiar with the term SWMBO. Honestly, I find it a bit pathetic if you have to refer to your significant other in this way. If your relationship is that skewed, you should do something about it. Talk about it, set boundaries, make arrangements or just split up. You don't need more retro stuff, what you need is some personal growth. Otherwise: stop reveling in your victimhood. There are plenty of men who can't keep a household or even their own arses clean, so I don't blame your wife for getting upset if you litter the entire house with your hobby.

wierd_w wrote on 2026-02-18, 04:22:

... equitable ...

Sadly, I've observed that most couples can't actually do this, with the agreed taboo getting broken the instant shared finances intersect, and an expensive indulgence is sought, leading to tit-for-tat, followed by arguments...

It is the shared finances and shared childcare and shared chores that cause conflict. But, if the outcome is an inevitable contest between winning or losing, my attempt is to maintain a balance to perpetuity because SWMBO never loses - it's in their definition! 😉

When SWMBO last entered my loft room, she saw my trusty CST1150 (a trackball) and she laughed so hard she didn't see anything else. "WEIRD! It looks like something out of the 80s!"

Anyway, I thought some girls were into this hobby - or, do they only go for Amigas?

Hezus wrote on 2026-02-18, 07:56:

I wasn't familiar with the term SWMBO. Honestly, I find it a bit pathetic if you have to refer to your significant other in this way. If your relationship is that skewed, you should do something about it. Talk about it, set boundaries, make arrangements or just split up. You don't need more retro stuff, what you need is some personal growth. Otherwise: stop reveling in your victimhood. There are plenty of men who can't keep a household or even their own arses clean, so I don't blame your wife for getting upset if you litter the entire house with your hobby.

This

Hezus wrote on 2026-02-18, 07:56:

I wasn't familiar with the term SWMBO. Honestly, I find it a bit pathetic if you have to refer to your significant other in this way. If your relationship is that skewed, you should do something about it. Talk about it, set boundaries, make arrangements or just split up. You don't need more retro stuff, what you need is some personal growth. Otherwise: stop reveling in your victimhood. There are plenty of men who can't keep a household or even their own arses clean, so I don't blame your wife for getting upset if you litter the entire house with your hobby.

In my part of the world SWMBO (pronounced swimbo) is common. It looks like you are also unfamiliar with the term loft room as being a small portion of a house.

But, I don't think this is the right forum to complain about how other people speak or use the English language.

Yeah it's missed a lot how much some of these terms are more in jest in the UK, 'er indoors, the ball and chain, etc etc,

A loft room might be more familiar as a walk up attic or attic conversion.

As the husband in a Christian marriage I pull rank on my wife if necessary. But seriously, at the end of the day EVERYONE has (and needs) hobbies and there has to be understanding of that. If such understanding is withheld, that is on her and not you (unless there is a legitimate concern like overspending) and that needs to be taken into account for any future actions.

And in all fairness, you use what you have in at least one way or another, correct? Turning my own surplus into cash (more due to lack of time than interest) has grown more logical since becoming a father, but I NEVER believed in hoarding: everything I have is for a purpose. Since it is a hobby, so long as you can justify it to YOURSELF that should be sufficient; if not, then you may need to widen your consideration of the facts because (as I keep having to remind my children) stuff does no good just laying around taking up space.

BaronSFel001 wrote on 2026-02-18, 16:36:

As the husband in a Christian marriage I pull rank on my wife if necessary. But seriously, at the end of the day EVERYONE has (and needs) hobbies and there has to be understanding of that. If such understanding is withheld, that is on her and not you (unless there is a legitimate concern like overspending) and that needs to be taken into account for any future actions.

And in all fairness, you use what you have in at least one way or another, correct? Turning my own surplus into cash (more due to lack of time than interest) has grown more logical since becoming a father, but I NEVER believed in hoarding: everything I have is for a purpose. Since it is a hobby, so long as you can justify it to YOURSELF that should be sufficient; if not, then you may need to widen your consideration of the facts because (as I keep having to remind my children) stuff does no good just laying around taking up space.

It's known in cognitive science that objects can have real psychological utility even without practical use. I have a carved dragon that reminds me of when I worked in a computer store in Chinatown 😉

But, I think most of my kit is actually part of a programme of unfinished projects where employment, childcare, and other stuff get in the way. Hobbies are at the bottom of the priority list.

My wife is very supportive of my hobby, and I hers. No need for hiding anything.

MattRocks wrote on 2026-02-17, 20:38:

She'd have me take it all to the tip. Or, in your framing, throw myself in the tip! :D […]
Show full quote

ElectroSoldier wrote on 2026-02-17, 19:30:

Dont.
Its you. Why would you hide you from her?

She'd have me take it all to the tip. Or, in your framing, throw myself in the tip! 😁

Sell it, sell myself.. hmm..

SWMBO is logical. She'd ask "Why do you need so many computers?" and my answer would be, "I don't know. Maybe they each remind me of a past crush.. " 😉

Trade her in get another one.

OzzFan wrote on 2026-02-18, 19:05:

My wife is very supportive of my hobby, and I hers. No need for hiding anything.

Well said. I won't lie and say my wife is hugely interested in this hobby, but she at least listens and is supportive when I talk about it.

My personality is the most effective form of birth control on the planet.