A more accurate rendition would be more like:
With all of these features and several others we'll cover in future articles, it's hard to imagine a gamer not wanting to move up to Windows XP as soon as possible. Especially since you won't have a choice in the matter.
DOS is dead. Windows 95, 98, 98SE, and ME...they're all dead too. Heh-heh... Windows 2000 still here, but on borrowed time. So give in and get XP so you can still play those cutting-edge games. You may as well get used to it. And don't cry to us about activation, because you're really not going to like it when it when we stop "selling" the OS and offer it as a "service".
That's right, EverQuest has shown us the way. You peons will pay on a regular basis for the "benefit" of using our OS, and keep on paying...day after day. You stop and we take it all away. BWAH-HA-HA! Guess you wish you had listened to those Mac and Amiga weenies now, huh? Well it's TOO LATE NOW! BWAH-HA-HA!
And there's no reason to stop there...some people will complain that they are getting less from using our OS than other people. This will give us the perfect excuse to charge for options within the service. Imagine, a 50 cent fee every time you click on a help button. Maybe 75 cents every time you open a command prompt.
Of course you'll be a little less casual about a reboot if you want to avoid the $3 surcharge. Of course, we'll probably cut you a price break once we finalize our patent for "air". After all, you'll need that cash to continue breathing so you can pay for other services. Violators, however could be carbonized and sold to Intel for their new line of "Organic" biodegradable processors. So I guess it works for us either way.
So go ahead and upgrade. You can't stop us. Even the AntiChrist is thinking of throwing in with us to avoid competition. Resistance is futile...