I am not trying to get your morale up but I really think that you should try to talk to someone. Anyone. On the internet (watch out some bad people out there), somebody you are close with (for me family members don't work...), just to empty your sac. Just don't be ashamed to do so...
Here is an excellent site that I found that you can discuss on-topic, it really helped me after a serious car accident....
http://www.enotalone.com
What else to say, you seem depressed. Think about getting another animal like a kitty, (I keep ants - they are FASCINATING but don't hug me though 😒 ) or find another activity like sport (I do karate and aikido a lot) it's extremely rewarding to advance in grades and it's not really a group activity (even if you practice in groups). Running and/or walking outside (in the forest, park) is a natural antidepressant. If you suffer from mild insomnia at the same time don't do sport in the evenings since if you are too tired you won't sleep. If the depression persists try to consult a physician. There is some excellent non-adictive antidepressants like seropram also known as Celexa, Citalopram that actually do not change brain chemistry and merely help by stimulating serotonin neurotransmitter which is responsible for the depression. The generalist physicians generally prescribe this drug and you don't have to consult a mental health professional.
http://www.247-pharmacy.com/Information/Depre … depression.html
BTW don't order it from anywhere get it on prescription.
I don't know more about your situation so there goes....
See you and heads up...
-- Any bad thing is not as bad as it may seem when it occured.
-- Do not think about the things you may have had, be grateful for the things you have, there are many people out there that would love to be in your place.
MM